Six Ways to Check Your Relationship Health

Happy loving couple on valentine's day. Man and woman are enjoying spending time at home.

Everyone would like a relationship that is healthy, and that gives them the same warm feeling that it always had right at the beginning…

Of course, no two relationships are the same. Someone’s needs around aspects of a relationship such as affection, personal space, hobbies, communication, sex, and values, will be different from one relationship to another.

It’s also a fact that these needs change as we get older and we change. Significantly, this includes if a family is started and so children come along into the household.

While we all know that any long-term romantic relationship will lose some of its initial passion, it should be that the relationship always continues to grow.

Every single relationship will have its highs and lows, its ups and downs. However, whatever stage a romantic relationship is in, there are some key signs that indicate it’s a healthy relationship.

Here are six strong indications of a healthy relationship.

1. You are equals who respect and support each other

couple playing music

A healthy relationship means two people are supportive and working together. They are a team.

They want the same kind of relationship. They share the same goals for the future.

Each will have an equal say in the relationship. They see each other as equals, two unique individuals – with no power games between them.

They will equally contribute to the relationship and their home. If one partner has a problem, they will know there is always going to be support from the other.

This could be even if one starts to suffer from a mental health condition, including depression and anxiety. Or a tragedy such as a bereavement happens and one partner is grieving.

Encouragement from one partner to the other should be a normal and regular part of a relationship. A healthy relationship will allow both partners to grow to become the best versions of themselves.

2. There is 100 percent trust

Trust is essential. Otherwise, a relationship can become a battleground of strategies and tactics.

Trust means you know your partner will never lie or cheat. It is always about integrity.

This includes trusting that your partner will have the best interests of you and the relationship in mind in everything they say and do.

3. There is open communication

depression in relationship happy couple

Being in a healthy relationship means both partners are comfortable talking about absolutely anything. This could be friendship, family or work concerns to something about financial worry, mental and physical health issues or something about sex.

A healthy relationship is one where both partners are good listeners. It’s vital that both partners feel truly listened to when they say something.

It might even be that there are different opinions on something. But it is always carefully listened to and discussed in a loving manner.

At times, they might disagree passionately. But there is no blaming, finger-pointing, belittling or shaming.

So any conflict is resolved, with a solution that will often involve compromise from both sides. It should leave both partners feeling that progress has been made.

4. Intimacy

This means sharing intimate moments together. This can obviously be more difficult when babies and children come along – but it is a major part of any healthy relationship.

Naturally, it includes sex and in a manner – including how frequently – that leaves both partners feeling happy and valued. Frequency might decrease in many long-term relationships, but physical intimacy – knowing each other in this way – should keep growing.

But intimacy is also about sharing funny moments together, chatting intently, hugging, cuddling, holding hands, sleeping side by side, kissing, looking each other lovingly in the eye, and sharing experiences.

5. You have fun together

couple having fun in the kitchen (1)

It’s essential to ensure there is time for fun. If you can do things that are spontaneous, and still laugh together a lot, that’s a certain sign of a healthy relationship.

Life will always throw us moments when it feels difficult to have fun or even smile at times. But, overall, both partners should feel happy in life – and know lots of joy in the relationship.

A healthy relationship means both partners still enjoy spending time together. It can be a major warning sign if they start to realize they are doing lots of things apart.

6. You can be you

Any healthy relationship also means that both partners can do things on their own or in another group. This could include things such as playing sports, doing yoga or being a member of a book club.

We must feel that we are always being true to ourselves. If this stops or one partner feels guilty about doing something they love, it needs to be addressed straight away.

A need for some personal space must be respected. Reflection during “me time” in life, in general, is a healthy thing to do for everybody.

There still needs to be life outside the relationship. Friends, families, colleagues, hobbies, and pastimes – all are important as part of a balanced happy life.

But if your relationship doesn’t seem to be on the healthy side, it does not necessarily mean that the relationship is over or must end. There are many things that can be done to improve it and make it healthy once again.

Our friendly experienced team has helped people with relationship problems, emotional issues and every type of mental health disorder. Contact us today to discuss how we could help you or someone you love.

David Hurst - Tikvah Lake Recovery

About David Hurst

David Hurst has four books published on mental health recovery, including 12 Steps To 1 Hero, The Anxiety Conversation and Words To Change Your Life. He has written for national newspapers and magazines around the world for 30 years including The Guardian, Psychologies, GQ, Esquire, Marie Claire and The Times. He has been in successful continual recovery since January 2002.

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