“’Tis the season to be jolly” is a phrase often heard around this time of year. In America, as in many other parts of the Western world, it’s often synonymous with drinking too much and for plenty of people taking various “party” drugs as well.
Of course, there are more opportunities for people to come together, celebrate, and have a good time that enable this, including family gatherings, office work parties, and special events – not forgetting the New Year celebrations too.
For people in recovery, this time of year can bring unique challenges and triggers that can severely test their commitment to staying clean and sober.
Navigating the holiday season while staying on the recovery journey needs careful planning and a real desire to continue on the right path.
Why the holiday season can be hard for those in recovery
The holiday season is often a period of nostalgia and memories – and for some people that can reawaken any unresolved inner pain and trauma, amplifying temptations to self-soothe or numb uncomfortable feelings.
There’s also increased stress and anxiety for everyone around the holiday season – with the pressure to get so much done and to make everything perfect – all heightened for those in recovery, making the holidays a particularly challenging time.
For someone in early recovery, who might still be involved in an unhealthy relationship or situation, these holiday weeks can exaggerate their issues. They might have to be around someone or in an environment they don’t like more often than usual and any feeling of being trapped can be intensified.
Many people are obliged to make family visits at this time of year as well. Having to spend concentrated time with family members who might not understand or respect their recovery process, or who are caught up in their own addiction issues, can easily activate internal or external triggers.
All the extra images posted on social media around this time, showing everyone having “the best time,” can easily bring up fears of missing out (FOMO) too, which can lead to temptation – particularly for those in recovery who are spending holidays alone or without a strong support network.
For these and other reasons, many people relapse during the holidays, so it’s vital to be prepared in advance and have strategies in place to make sure you’re not one of them.
Six tips for successfully navigating the holidays if you’re in recovery
1. Prioritize self-care
The hustle and bustle of the holiday season can be overwhelming for anyone – but it’s particularly essential for those in recovery to prioritize self-care. Among all the shopping, parties, and family gatherings, taking moments for yourself is so important.
Make sure you maintain your regular self-care routine. This may include exercise, getting enough sleep, meditating, attending 12-Steps meetings or therapy sessions. These will help you stay grounded and focused on your recovery and overall well-being – and give you a solid foundation for navigating potential triggers.
Also, be aware of your stress levels. For nearly everyone, the holiday season brings increased pressures.
Stay in touch with your feelings and find healthy ways to avoid or manage stress. This could include going to a yoga class, deep breathing exercises, journaling, playing a sport, doing a creative hobby, or walking in nature.
Family visits at this time of year can be key triggers, bringing back many painful or uncomfortable memories.
Sometimes this can be in a subtle way, for example, a familiar smell, a meal that you used to eat as a child, or a song that your father always played at Christmas.
Or it can be more obvious, for example, the parental criticism once again, the anger, the manipulation.
Self-care can also mean being ready to remove yourself from triggering situations, politely and with dignity. Have someone supportive on hand who you can call at any time.
2. Make plans
For those who are in early recovery it’s really best to avoid any “wet” places – meaning bars, parties, clubs with alcohol, etc. Likewise, anywhere there might be drugs around and any people who might have drugs or encourage using them. This also applies to anyone who won’t hear you saying “no” to alcohol.
However long you’ve been in recovery, if you are going out to socialize, plan to make sure you’re prepared for any scenarios, such as potential triggers. Before you go, speak to your therapist or sponsor if you have one.
If it’s a party or a bar/nightclub event, go with a sober friend to provide support and strength together. If possible, you can let the event hosts or organizers know about your commitment to sobriety, so they will know to provide non-alcoholic drinks.
Consider taking your own non-alcoholic drink if necessary. That way, you don’t need to go near the bar or where the drinks are being served at a party.
Be prepared for someone encouraging you to have an alcoholic drink or share some drugs. Most people will not mind at all if you say “no” – but a few can be pushy. Having a standard line prepared can help, such as “I’m the designated driver tonight, so I’m not drinking” or “I’m on medication and can’t have alcohol.”
In my experience, it’s worth remembering that those who are insistent that you join in are often the people who could benefit from looking at their own drinking or drug use. Wish them well and move away.
3. Be prepared to make an exit
Among your plans should be one of making an exit if needed at any time. This could even be right at the beginning if what you see or where you are leaves you feeling in any way uncomfortable or vulnerable.
Your recovery always has to come first.
Sometimes, despite careful planning, you may find yourself in situations where the temptation to drink or use feels intense. An exit strategy can be a lifesaver.
Chat with someone you trust who’s in recovery – or an addiction counselor or coach with expertise in addiction – about potential triggers. Having an exit plan empowers you to prioritize your well-being and leave if necessary – without feeling pressured to compromise your recovery.
When I first felt I was obliged to go out to a “wet” place in my early recovery around the holidays I was given some sound advice by my 12-Steps sponsor: that I could give myself permission to leave at any time and that I could, of course, say “no, thank you” to the invitation in the first place.
But I wanted to go, and felt strong enough in my recovery to do so. So it was mentioned, by someone with great experience on the recovery journey, that while I might think everybody would notice me leaving early if I did, that in fact they wouldn’t – especially after a certain stage of the evening’s drinking!
I was specifically advised to leave if someone started to repeat the same story or joke as soon as they’d finished it.
Sure enough, that happened and I politely told this person that I needed to leave. He simply turned to the nearest person and started his story again!
In the morning, no one noticed I had left early. In fact, a few people asked me what I thought of the second band, when in fact I’d left as soon as the first band finished!
Even if someone does notice and voices their disapproval at you leaving as you go or later on, it’s entirely up to you. This is also true for any visits to family or friends.
4. Have an attitude of gratitude
Focusing on the positive aspects of your journey and life in general can help shift your mindset away from potential triggers and reinforce your determination to stay on the path of recovery. Write gratitude lists – and include “being clean and sober” on them.
Consider keeping a gratitude journal too, where you write down things you are grateful for each day. Take time to express and feel gratitude for your sobriety and the support you have received along the way.
5. Find new, sober holiday activities to enjoy
Instead of focusing on activities that revolve around alcohol or substances, find, join in or create new traditions that align with your commitment to recovery and new way of being.
These could include:
- Volunteering at a local charity
- Enjoying outdoor activities like ice skating, skiing, sledging or hiking
- Signing up for an online fitness event or challenge, like a virtual 5K
- Hosting holiday movie nights, or game nights
- Taking a trip to somewhere you’ve always wanted to visit
- Signing up for a virtual class, for example, to learn new cookery or baking skills
- Going to sober parties such as organized by Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA) for New Year’s Eve or to gatherings with others in recovery
- Hosting your own sober party, or dinner party
In my first year of recovery, I went to a 12-Steps New Year’s Eve party in London, England. At first when I walked in I thought I must be at the wrong place because so many people were dancing wildly!
Since then I’ve been to quite a few 12-Steps social events and seen that the warmth of welcome, energy levels and desire to enjoy life is always right up there. I feel that’s a lot to do with the ego reduction that’s a key part of the 12-Steps program, combined with people in recovery feeling like they’ve been given a second chance at life.
So, make sure to give a lot back to life while in recovery – and that includes having fun. There’s no point getting clean and sober to be boring and glum!
By creating new holiday season traditions, you will redefine the holiday experience. You will also create lasting memories that add to your recovery and overall well-being.
6. Reach out
Remember that you’re not alone in your recovery. The holiday season can cause high emotions, so reaching out for support becomes even more important.
Connect with your support network, whether that’s trusted friends, family, or others in recovery. Share your feelings and concerns with those who understand.
If you’re part of a recovery group, consider attending additional meetings during the holiday season for extra support. Many groups organize special events, gatherings and meetings during this time to provide a sense of community and connection.
They understand this can be an especially difficult time. Use the available resources, and seek professional help if needed from a therapist, coach or counselor.
Remember, every day that you commit to your recovery is a priceless gift to yourself. By making a few preparations, you can celebrate the holiday season with joy and merriment – and actually even remember it all this time!
Relapse prevention at Tikvah Lake Recovery
Tikvah Lake’s experienced team has decades of success in helping people with addiction problems and mental health diagnoses. As a family-run recovery center in sunny Florida, each guest is warmly embraced as part of the family.
Nestled in a luxurious campus amid peaceful nature with a beautiful lake, the environment is ideal for recovery. Whether for yourself or a loved one, Tikvah Lake offers confidential support through its fully personalized treatment programs.
Treatment programs include a combination of individual therapy, group therapy, holistic wellness treatments, and aftercare planning to ensure a whole-person approach that delivers long-term, sustainable recovery.
Get in touch today for a confidential chat about how the Tikvah Lake team can help you or someone you care about start the journey toward healing.
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